It is the inside, not the outside that counts, right? That is what we hear but what we see around us is totally different.  Every day, we are inundated with images of so-called ”perfect” physical beauty and we feel pressured to measure up.  These two concepts of beauty seem to contradict one another.  If beauty is on the inside, then we should be putting our energy into cultivating ourselves to be the greatest possible versions of ourselves.  If beauty is on the outside, we need to head to the gym, the spa or the mall!

We are not often asked ”Who are you?”  Sure, people may ask us what our name is, what we do, whose wife or mother we are, but we are rarely challenged with answering the question “Who am I?”

“I am a woman; a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend….”

The list goes on and on.  But do any of these roles define me? Is who I am defined by my relationship to others?  Am I my job description? Am I my appearance, my past or my limitations?

Do you know how great you are?  Are you aware of the gifts you possess, of the difference you can make in the lives of others?  Do you embrace Who You Really Are – your strength, your love, your grace, your beauty and your brilliance?  Are you connected with that part of yourself, or are you hiding?

When asked, most of us will say that beauty comes from within.  We will say that it is the qualities we possess, not our physical features that make us most attractive. This is what I call our “public conversation” about beauty, and most of us really believe it.  But then, we stand in front of the mirror and the conversation changes.  The “private conversation” takes over. For many of us, and the first thing we see is what is “wrong”; a new stretch mark, a bump on the nose, wrinkles we swear were not there yesterday, acne, those extra few pounds of holiday weight we have yet to lose…

Since the beginning of recorded history, the most celebrated beauties have been soft, voluptuous and curvy.  Natural beauty was something to be admired and celebrated.  But as society has progressed and technology has permeated our culture, this beauty paradigm has changed.  As a result of the strength and success of capitalism and the media that supports it, our culture has become enamored with technology and the changes it can make to the human body.  The result is the ever-growing idea that one can never be too thin - or have too much money, for that matter!  Natural beauty has come to be viewed as trivial while manufactured beauty has become a powerful status symbol. My question is, is this really a healthy ideal for us to embrace? Is this who we really want to be?

There is absolutely no reason why I need to look like a stick figure. I do not need to fit into size 0 clothes.  In fact, I don’t think it would be physically possible no matter how much weight I lost because I have hips – real solid bone that would prevent me from ever getting into clothing that small! Yet, if I flip through a fashion magazine, I am presented with images of young women who are practically skeletons, with no hips and surgically enhanced chests, airbrushed to meet standards that are not just unnatural but unobtainable – even by the models themselves. Take, for instance this photo actress Jessica Alba; the original photo is quite beautiful but the editors decided to make her thinner, curvier, and more defined with bigger lips and smaller hips.  She is a stunning woman who needs no retouching and honestly, I like the first image better because she looks like a real woman.